Gurpreet joined the Bolly-Bhangra Saturday class in April. Always half an hour early, I was struck by his easy smile and enthusiasm for the class.
One day he asked, “Isn’t Bhangra a masculine dance form? Where are the men?”
Great question – “Where are they?” I asked, “And where were you?”
At the end of term, the class went out for a drink, and that’s when Gurpreet revealed that he has recently separated from a 19 year relationship. He always wanted to learn dance, especially Bhangra, but never thought of doing things just for himself before.
“On the weekend I would always think of doing things as a couple. I’m the kind of person that likes to makes people around me happy. It’s only now that I’ve realized that actually I have to be happy first. If someone wants to do something, then you really should just do it. Otherwise you end up suppressing your desires and it affects your relationships.”
In experimenting with single life, Gurpreet says the dance classes have been the most productive thing that he has done. They’ve been therapeutic, he finds himself looking forward to them and they have helped ease the loneliness (a little). But best of all, it’s the new people and fresh perspectives that he has encountered that has been the real game changer.
For example, another student in the class shared that she was going on a month long holiday in Europe, travelling solo.
Gurpreet, who had never previously thought of travelling alone, was shocked. “I was really affected by her courage to go to Europe all by herself. I questioned why I am stopping myself from doing things. Just because I haven’t done it before doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.”
The result – soon Gurpreet will be travelling to Japan, solo, for the first time in his life.
Let the adventures begin.
Joshinder Chaggar
20 September 2019